Whirling Dipshit

Let’s, for a minute, hold up Siri as the closest we have to an interactive Operating System.  That said, its reasonable to believe that Siri will ultimately evolve to the point of intuition – the understanding of human emotional cues, the projection of human emotion and the even the ability to build human relationships built off those capabilities. 

It’s also reasonable to believe that this evolution would make a fascinating premise for a film.

Also reasonable, someone with Adaptation and Being John Malkovich on their resume might just have the chops to bring all this together. 

Well, abandon all reason. “Her” is a complete waste of time and suffers from a terminal failure of execution at every turn.

The script is choppy, infantile, and utterly boring. The next time someone asks you “’what’s wrong” or “what’s up,” consider yourself fully versed in the complexity of the dialogue.  

The acting, if you can call it that, is cliché and one dimensional. I’m fairly certain that the OS, Samantha portrays the most varied emotion in the piece, but you can’t believe any of it because she’s a f’in computer and Jonze did nothing to assist in the suspension of disbelief. SPOILER: Samantha has a 60 second long orgasm about 20 minutes in. Really? No, I mean really? 

Have you seen the movie poster? Joaquin Phoenix’s pouty ass face? Well, then you’ve experienced 75 percent of the cinematography (and of Phoenix’s acting), and frankly been spared the hideous wardrobe choices. So, 9” pant zippers in the future? Just, no.

  

Now, if we take this movie as an unintentional comedy, then we can start awarding points, because you will laugh. You’ll laugh so hard you may get thrown out of the movie before it’s unremarkable but merciful end.  You’ll laugh at how insanely insipid this “progressive” relationship is; you’ll laugh at the ancillary characters as they take this relationship in stride;  and more than anything,  you’ll laugh at the thought that Jonze believes he’s created something of substance. Pretentious, boring, inept, nothingness.  

What I’m not laughing at – this film has been nominated for multiple Oscars and granted endless glowing reviews.  Joaquin’s Theo clearly isn’t the only one jerking off. 

F-Her.